


[DATA EXPUNGED]

by alienboyv



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, SCP Foundation
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anxious Aziraphale (Good Omens), Aziraphale and Crowley Only Met at Eden, Aziraphale is SCP-001, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gabriel Being an Asshole (Good Omens), He/Him Pronouns For Aziraphale (Good Omens), He/Him Pronouns For Crowley (Good Omens), Heaven is Terrible (Good Omens), Implied/Referenced Torture, Isolation, Lonely Aziraphale (Good Omens), M/M, POV Aziraphale (Good Omens), Sad Aziraphale (Good Omens), She/Her Pronouns for Aziraphale (Good Omens), She/Her Pronouns for Crowley (Good Omens), Soft Aziraphale (Good Omens), Touch-Starved Aziraphale (Good Omens), Violence, aziraphale is sister francis the maid instead...just because, sandalphon is a creep at one point but nothing too extreme
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:33:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21999031
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alienboyv/pseuds/alienboyv
Summary: "SCP-001 is a humanoid entity, approximately 700 cubits in height, located in an undisclosed location near the intersection of the Tigris and Euphrates rivers...A weapon, possibly a sword or knife (SCP-001-2). The weapon appears to emit flames at a temperature rivaling that of the sun, based on spectrographic analysis, although there appear to be no destructive effects from the intense heat on the surrounding area...Observers have reported that SCP-001 appears to be standing in front of a gate of immense proportions. Long-range photographs have occasionally detected what appears to be a pastoral grove within...as well as several fruit trees of unknown composition. Of particular note are two fruit trees of immense proportion near what appears to be the center of the grove: one, it is noted, appears to be an ordinary apple tree, although the other bears a fruit unknown on earth..."Source: Dr. Clef's Proposal of SCP-001, The Gate Guardian.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 55





	[DATA EXPUNGED]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> at 1 point a guy called azira "kid" becus hes like in his 70s so azira doesnt look young, just like hes def younger than that guy

_"SCP-001 is a humanoid entity, approximately seven hundred (700) cubits in height, located in an undisclosed location near the intersection of the Tigris and Euphrates rivers...A number of luminous, wing-like appendages emerging from the shoulders, back, temples, ankles, and wrists of the entity...A weapon, possibly a sword or knife (SCP-001-2). The weapon appears to emit flames at a temperature rivaling that of the sun, based on spectrographic analysis, although there appear to be no destructive effects from the intense heat on the surrounding area..._

_Observers have reported that SCP-001 appears to be standing in front of a gate of immense proportions. Long-range photographs have occasionally detected what appears to be a pastoral grove within...as well as several fruit trees of unknown composition. Of particular note are two fruit trees of immense proportion near what appears to be the center of the grove: one, it is noted, appears to be an ordinary apple tree, although the other bears a fruit unknown on earth, described as [DATA EXPUNGED]."_

* * *

Meet principality Aziraphale, better known as SCP-001, who has just left his station in front of the gates of Eden.

Rapture has begun.

Let us guide you to where this all began. Oh, this shan't- do humans still say shan't? -bore you with the dreadfully dull years that Aziraphale was barely even there for, mentally, at least. You will be spared from that, as Azirphale may wish he could've spared himself, so let's get into the good bits.

After the exile of Adam and Eve and Aziraphale's, erm, _giving of his flaming sword_ , he was to be punished. He had allowed a demon to infiltrate the Garden of Eden, tempt Eve with the one fruit she was not allowed to consume, and for Adam to follow suit...and gave away his flaming sword right before they left the Garden. Understandably, Aziraphale was punished.

_Even so, that demon wasn't as bad as they seem to think he was._

He _was_ to be put to annihilation, but someone put their neck out for him. Oh, it doesn't matter who that was anymore. Instead of his demise, he was to face an eternity (or however long this world would last...) of guarding the gates of Eden.

Oh, It was very boring. suppose one could equate him to that story of...hm, what was it? The greek myth of Atlas, the titan who was forced to hold up the world. Although he's unfamiliar with that myth due to his lack of expertise in human life.

He only actually experienced humanity a few times before the foundation found him. He was severely reprimanded for it, so he decided it would be best not to continue going out there.

So, for six millennia, Aziraphale stood in front of those gates.

Let us bring you to 1967, the year the founder, well, found the Gate Guardian. He was utterly fascinated by Aziraphale's true form and, well, he didn't want to destroy this man.

See, Aziraphale abhors violence but _it is_ his duty to guard these gates, to do whatever he must to keep humanity finding this Garden. Oh, that's beside the point! The point is, to Aziraphale, he was a darling! He was going great places so...

Aziraphale, with all his wisdom, told him to prepare. To him, It was the least he could do, how was he supposed to know that man was going to start a foundation that observed anomalies such as _him?_ Even so, they were not a threat, though Heaven certainly did not believe this.

* * *

_"Ga-Gabriel, you must listen, they aren't doing anything-" Aziraphale had shrunken down once he saw the Archangels walking towards him. "They will certainly catch this-" He stared worryingly onto a camera that was situated at the estimated safe distance._

_"We've disrupted their footage, sunshine," He ground his foot onto Aziraphale's, not stopping until he was thoroughly wincing. "That's not what you should be worrying about. You messed up once, and we forgave you for that-this is your punishment. Even after all our reprimands and your betrayal of this post, you somehow fuck up even more? How are you like this?" He proceeded to, erm-_

_Well, Gabriel didn't like to get his hands dirty, so he put him in Sandalphon's grasp. Aziraphale has always had a fear of that specific Archangel and Gabriel knew this well. Let's not go into too much detail on how he roughed up the poor principality._

_Let's just say, it was quite a bit of pain and he wasn't able to use his main wings for a few weeks due to their...state. Which is to say, he had...plucked the feathers out in bunches._

_"You know better, Aziraphale," Gabriel stared down at him and grabbed his jaw, Aziraphale wondered if it was perhaps to alleviate the pain. Although, he was too nervous to say, that was actually doing the opposite. "For Almighty's sake, you let a human see you? What did you do to make him come back? Were you that lonely?" Gabriel chuckled._

_"I could certainly keep you company if that's what you desire..." Sandalphon whispered low into his ears so the others didn't hear, but it seems they did know he was saying something uncomfortable. Raphael seemed uneasy at seeing this and pulled Sandalphon off of him, he shook his head at the other Archangel. Uriel's brow furrowed as she glared at Aziraphale._

_"Oh, that's enough." Michael said, "We're running out of time, we have more important business we could get to."_

_"Before we head off, we decided to be gracious and only give you a minor punishment!" Aziraphale sighed and smiled weakly. "You will be cut off of miracles from now until we decide when you are allowed them back, including self-healing miracles. The only ones we allow are manipulation of the flesh and the destruction of those who try to get to close the Garden. You will continue on as normal." Gabriel smiled._

_"Don't mess up again, sunshine, there's a reason you're still here. Don't forget!" He snapped his fingers and burst out of reality before he got the chance to respond. He painstakingly went into his true form before opening his wings once more, missing the two largest._

_Aziraphale does not know if they took note of this once the cameras came back on._

* * *

Oh, in the end, the Archangels did allow Aziraphale 11 years to travel across the world and try to save as many humans, or as they put it, recruit as many soldiers for Heaven's victory as he can.

Aziraphale entered Mesopotamia or the area that _was_ Mesopotamia, apparently holding the modern-day Iraq, Iran, Syria, and Southeastern Turkey. He had decided to enter Turkey, due to the estimated distance to where the Anti-Christ would be situated. He was to stay away from the Anti-Christ, or at least not to influence him to the path of good. Seeing as _"All attempts would be futile."_ were the words they used.

The first thing noticed was that fashion had changed...significantly. While his robes were appropriate in the hotter regions, once he was quite a way along, he began to receive strange looks. He didn't realize it was his _garments_ until a rude man called him such _uncalled_ for names.

...Well, he didn't truly understand what is the harm in a male-shaped being wearing robes, or even a dress for that matter.

Still, he did worry about the SCP foundation. He was _never_ able to see their files on him.

* * *

" _Fuck_. Fuck!" One of the personnel called out, they began ringing all alarms. The others began alerting the guards and high-class individuals.

"What's going on-" Dr. Gears called out to the hallway before the speaker began, well, speaking.

"All personnel report to your stations. Please read the messages that have been delivered. Dr. Gears, for once in his career, ran to his room. He began to dig through his computer until he was met with something he only saw in his nightmares.

_"PATMOS XK-class end-of-the-world scenario."_

"Goddamnit, Clef. Why did you leave us now? We could use you right about now." He groaned, putting his head in his hands. _That damn angel._

* * *

Aziraphale set up shop in a quaint store on a street called SoHo... though, truthfully, he didn't spend much time there. He was more prone to roam around London and other parts of this new world.

See, the last time he had seen the world was... a little after Jesus's crucifixion, if we're being generous. That was long ago, though, it had barely been the current era.

One fateful night, Aziraphale came across a yard sale, where a man was selling many knick-knacks and books, but no scrolls. _Seems those went out of fashion!_

As the angel wandered around, he found myself enraptured by the author named Oscar Wilde.

"Oi, kid," An elderly man looked at him, _I suppose he must be the owner of this yard sale._ _Kid?_ "You seem to like these Wilde books..." He smiled softly at Aziraphale as he smiled back and tried to keep his flapping hands down. "I should'a expected you to like these, I guess." He chuckled.

"Why is that, dear?" He piped up.

"Oh, I guess I grew up in a more...stereotypical time, so forgive my assumption. I just would'a guessed you were a...friend of Dorothy if ya get what I'm sayin'."

"Dorothy? Who's Dorothy?" Aziraphale smiled, oblivious to his lingo and the implication behind is. His eyebrows raised. Suddenly, Aziraphale's attention was caught by a marvelous piece of fabric. "What is this?"

"Oh, this tartan?" He beamed up at the man.

"Tartan? Where can I get more of this?" He looked at the price tag. "Let me check if I can acquire this money and-" The man shook his head.

"Hey, don't tell my wife I did this but," He handed him the tartan bowtie, "Keep it, 'kay?" He winked and walked off to some more costumers.

Aziraphale's heart warmed from his kindness. He decided to use one of his few miracles he was given that allowed him to ensure humans to his side. That man would surely be getting a call from his brother who hadn't spoken to him in decades.

* * *

"Hey there, bud." Dr. Bright walked into the heavily-secured room, gripping onto the amulet. He was currently using a body he thought looked similar to his actual body, pale skin, freckles, and curly brown hair- though, this body has hazel eyes while his original body had dark brown eyes. He prayed this would work.

Rapture was coming and he couldn't take it anymore. Everyone was freaking out and protocols were being run through over and over.

SCP-321 looked at him, groaning in confusion, shifting in her braces and moving her toys out of the way. Her head, painfully, moved to the side. Her body seemed to contort with happiness as she realized it was someone she knew, even if she didn't really know him or how she knew him. Dr. Bright smiled weakly, feeling guilt and pain racking his body.

"Hey there, been a while since we saw each other. Sorry about that." He smiled, walking up to her. He knew he shouldn't do this but... "I got you a toy." He held the amulet out, extending it to her. Her stretched-out arms reached to him, shakily grabbing it.

"Love you, Sarah." The body stood sluggishly as all its higher-brain functions.

Suddenly, pain was shooting up and down Dr. Bright's new body. He began to rip off all gear that was meant to keep her alive, the pain rapidly increasing. He finally was able to remove all gear, preparing to take off the amulet.

"Dr. Bright!" A voice called out to him, he snapped his neck up and he felt his joints popping and his bones cracking. "Please, stop." He took a shuddering breath, barely able to utter his sentence.

"Too late, Right." He let out a pathetic chuckle. She stepped closer. "Sorry about this, Aggie."

"Jack!" The amulet was ripped off as the 3-meter tall husk dropped down. The amulet cracked and shattered, unexpectedly." 

"Oh my god," Dr. Right hyperventilated. "Jack..."

* * *

Two months ago, a strange being by the name of Aziraphale moved into SoHo and set up a bookshop that was more book storage than a shop.

Two days ago, that same strange being by the same of Aziraphale went on vacation.

Two days ago, a strange (female-shaped) being by the same of Sister Francis Fell became a new maid at the Dowling residence.

Now, if you asked anybody about this, they would say that these occurrences were strictly unrelated. That wasn't exactly true, as you'll see.

Aziraphale told herself that this was just to...make sure the Antichrist was safe, even though obviously he would be, there'd be no way for him not to be. That it was just to see that he came into his power, which, like before, would obviously happen. That it was just to observe, which God almighty could call bullshit on.

Then, she suddenly smelled a demonic presence. It racked through her body and she, at that moment, decided she must simply do this! It is her duty to ensure that this nefarious demon wouldn't do anything demonic or awful to the Antichrist.

...Even though this was their whole plan, and besides, even a demon would pray for the idiot who tried to do something to the Antichrist.

So, she marched into the Dowling residence...and was promptly faced with said-demon, who was Nanny Ashtoreth- a tall, black-clad, intimidating maid.

"Oh, so you're the maid? Wonderful." Ashtoreth said, with no hint of enthusiasm. "I, of all people, was told to escort you to your room. Come along now." She gently handed the baby to Aziraphale-er, _Francis_ \- and lifted her heavy luggage like it was nothing.

Aziraphale stared at the baby, realizing this was the Antichrist, the Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan and Lord of Darkness...who just blinked up tired eyes and softly yawned. She couldn't help but coo at him.

"You can coo at him later, I said, come along now." Ashtoreth snapped. Aziraphale nodded frantically, cradling the baby as the sped up.

* * *

"What the hell could you have in those bags of yours?" Nanny Ashtoreth plopped Sister Francis's luggage on the bed.

"Books!" She squeaked, "Besides, you didn't seem to struggle while carrying them..." She muttered. Ashtoreth made a motion with her face which can be assumed to be an eye-roll but is unclear due to her sunglasses.

She extended her arms, beckoning Aziraphale to hand the newborn back. Francis did so and the nanny proceeded to book it out the door faster than she could say _'thank you!'_

Aziraphale closed the door and, looked in every direction, before snapping her fingers and unpacking all her items for her. _Hopefully, Heaven will assume I just acquired more books._

She knew she couldn't miracle herself into the maid's uniform, so she attempted to get it on, along with the undergarments, by herself. She found brasseries especially difficult, due to the complicated structure and the tightness, though, she quickly realized it was too small for her and tried on another once that actually fit.

This one was white lace with silk straps, the lace was surprisingly comfortable, but the hooks in the back seemed to rub against her skin and irritate it. Luckily, all other undergarments simply required pulling up or down.

The maid's uniform was easier than she expected to put on, though, not without its struggles. She tied the ribbon for the apron in the back and pulled down the hem so it would reach her knees. She pulled on the shoes that seemed to be way too small for her.

She stepped out, ignoring the ache in her feet and looked at the list that was left for her. She headed to the kitchen, where a messy stove was left for her. 

The day continued without any unusual occurrences, though, very tedious for dear Francis. By the time the day ended, she was able to complete her list.

She attempted to sleep that night, though, she found her efforts futile.

Especially due to a certain demon nanny.

* * *

"What in Satan's name could you be doing here?!" Aziraphale sat up, fiddling with her gown-sleeves. _I must, oh, what's that modern term? Right! Play dumb._

"What could you mean, dear lady?" She spoke softly, murmuring as so her nervousness may not slip out.

"Do not play dumb! _You_ -the angel from the Garden!" _So she is the Serpent._

"You recognize me?"

"Not the point!" Ashtoreth-er, _Crawly_ \- whisper-screamed. "For 6000 years we don't see each other, but suddenly now you show up? Where the Hell were you? And why are you here, especially now, considering the-" She pointed in the direction of Warlock's bedroom.

"Well, see-" She breathed in. "I simply wanted to see how the Antichrist was doing and to um...thwart you!" She spoke, with little confidence.

"I highly doubt that, seeing as I'm not doing anything wrong as far as you know."

"Well, what if you did something demonic to the Antichrist?" She said.

"You don't even believe yourself! Besides, he's the Antichrist, demonic is his nature- and let's say I did do something to him, getting a holy water bath is not on my bucket list." The nanny cocked her hip out and put her hand on it. "Also, you didn't answer my first question. Where were you?"

"Not important to you-"

"Nah, I think it is."

"I will not give in to the temptations of a demon."

"Sounds like you're telling yourself that more than _me_. C'mon, what's the harm?" Aziraphale knew when she was being tempted, still...what _was_ the harm?

"Well, if you must know, it's your fault." She said, though there was no malice behind it.

"My fault?! How in Satan's balls could it be-" Crawly said in an outburst.

"Not entirely. Because of our temptation of Adam and Eve and my...donation of that flaming sword, remember that?"

"'Course I do, keep going." Crawly gestured her to do so.

"Well..." She breathed in. "Due to those mishaps, I was to be put to death-" Crawly's mouth dropped. "But-but! I was spared, and instead was put to guard the Gates of the Garden of Eden for the rest of the foreseeable future."

"Oh, with that other angel? The guardian of the western gate?" _That would be Uriel._

"No, uh, just me." She looked shocked.

"The other angel let me in too?"

"They didn't give away their weapon." The nanny shrugged.

"So, you were just...alone?"

"Yes, it wasn't that bad, Crawly-"

"Crowley, actually."

"Hm?" She hummed.

"I go by Crowley now." Aziraphale nodded.

"When was that?" Aziraphale tilted her head.

"Oh, a bit before Jesus's crucifixion." Aziraphale eyebrows raised.

"Oh, that was so long ago! That was the last time I left the Gates."

"Oh, I was there too, why'd you stop going?" Aziraphale's eyes flickered and avoided the question.

"Well, Crowley-" Suddenly, something in Crowley's pocket went off.

"Ah, the little bugger woke up." She stood up from her position on Aziraphale's bed and put the device back in her pocket. "See ya later, angel." Before Aziraphale knew it, once again, the nanny was gone.

"...angel?"

* * *

For the next few years, things went by smoothly. Aziraphale subtly encouraged good behavior in Warlock, and Crowley did...whatever she did.

Speaking of Crowley, while Aziraphale essentially rejected Crowley's presence at every step she could, she couldn't avoid the demon all the time. After avoiding her for 6000 years, you'd think it'd be easy, but it also wasn't like Crowley was frequenting the Garden of Eden all the time. So they gained...somewhat of a rapport.

Every week, they would have a night where they just stayed up and talked for the night. Aziraphale, of course, never revealed her intentions of why she was here and neither did Crowley. Crowley also would try to pry about the 6000 years she spent in front of the Gate and what Heaven did to her, but eventually stopped when she realized what it did to Aziraphale.

 _What would it do?_ Let us slip into Crowley's perspective for a moment. Aziraphale would get dazed and seem...not there. She seemed as though she was back in front of those gates, and, while Crowley said nothing-she knew what that was. That was solitary confinement in some form-nonetheless, it was torture. She also wasn't blind, she saw the bruises and cuts that would slip from her gown, they were put there for the purpose of staying.

They were put as a reminder, they turned her body into something to remind her of her loyalty. Crowley couldn't lie, it filled her with rage. Hell wasn't perfect, it was _Hell_ , but they tortured human souls. Sure, demons aren't trustworthy and you could, and it would be within your rights to do so, harm another demon- and while it did happen, it wasn't for the purpose of loyalty and all that bullshit. It was by individuals, not a representation of Hell itself.

Heaven has changed for the worst, and Aziraphale stood in front of Crowley. She stood as bright as every single star she ever created and she found unfathomable they could hurt this wonderful being and that she could still be so wonderful after that. 

Back to the Antichrist business, Warlock seemed...normal. Almost too normal. Crowley admitted her own thoughts one drunken night, and Aziraphale nodded, though she kept those to herself. He was a kid, a bit bratty but still sweet...just a normal kid.

One day, Aziraphale knocked on Crowley's door instead of vice versa for the first time

"'Ello?"

"Um, dear, it's me." Suddenly the door swung open.

"Angel?" She looked behind the demon and noticed the packages.

"Why are you packing?"

"Leavin'." Crowley shrugged.

"Wh-why?" Crowley lowered her eyebrows and lifted her glasses up.

"There ain't nothing left for me to do, the kids on whatever path he going down." She rested her arm against the door frame.

"Oh..." Aziraphale looked down.

"What, you gonna miss me?"

"Absolutely not!" She huffed and crossed her arms. She began stepping away and looked back for only a moment. "Best wishes on your travels, demon."

"Right back at ya, angel." She hurried away and continued her duties for the day, ignoring the goodbyes of the other staff and the Dowling family that were sent to their dear nanny.

Aziraphale went to her bedroom that night, more somber than she'd like to admit. Before getting her book out, she noticed a slip of paper with an address on it.

Signed, C.

That night, Sister Francis Fell turned in her notice slip, that morning, she left.

"Oh, Fell left?" Mrs. Dowling said to her husband.

"Yep."

"The day after Ashtoreth left?" Mr. Dowling nodded. "They were totally banging, right?" She whispered.

"Oh, yeah, definitely." was whispered back.

* * *

"Hey, Dr. Right?"

"What is it, Dr. Iceberg?"

"Think we found the Gate Guardian." A pause.

_"Holy shit."_

* * *

The Apocolypse was to begin in a week.

And an angel and demon had spent the first few hours of that week drinking. Aziraphale stared at his glass as Crowley went on some rant about _dolphins_ and _bananas_ again _._

"Yes, dear, yes." Crowley's eyebrows furrowed.

"Are you even listening to me?" Aziraphale's head shot up. 

"Of course I am!" He burst out with. "I'm just tired, dear."

"You're an angel, can you even get tired?" Aziraphale sucked in air through his nose.

"Why, yes. Yes, I can, dear." He stared into his glass. He watched the ripples in the liquid as he sloshed it around.

"Angel?" Crowley muttered, trying to get across he was asking if Aziraphale was okay or if Aziraphale needed something- _anything_.

"Go on, dear." Aziraphale set his drink down and stared at the demon. "I'm all ears." Crowley smiled and continued on, letting Aziraphale have this one escape.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> someone: hey, what's your gender?  
> aziraphale: a what now


End file.
